


Tears

by SarahWritesThings



Category: Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: Gen, One Shot, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-14
Updated: 2012-10-14
Packaged: 2020-02-29 04:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18771313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahWritesThings/pseuds/SarahWritesThings
Summary: This is a repost of a work previously published on FanFic.net. Just wanted it up on here so I could remember that I've always been angsty (apparently).Trigger warning for suicide.





	Tears

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost of a work previously published on FanFic.net. Just wanted it up on here so I could remember that I've always been angsty (apparently).
> 
> Trigger warning for suicide.

I cried for the loss, for how unfair life was, I cried for the fact that I was alone now.

I knew that the servants could hear me, but I really didn't care. They could never know why I was crying, I had promised her that.

 _Her._ The though pained me constantly.  _Elphaba._  She was gone. Never to come back. And I had promised her that I wouldn't clear her name, so no one would ever know the truth about her.

The tears would flood back if I didn't try to block her out of my thoughts, but I could never for long; everything reminded me of her. Now thinking about it, a green city would remind you of a green girl.

I'm not sure when I decided to end everything, but I knew that I couldn't stay strong for long. And when I did crack I almost felt relieved.

It was a 'one-year-Witch-free' ball, and my press secretary told me that I had to go, and I couldn't wear black. Even after I argued that it was death altogether and should be mourned, she forced me into wearing a big fluffy yellow ball gown instead. I think that hurt me, that dress. Yellow was too happy when I was mourning a friend.

At the ball I had to make a speech about how 'good' everything was because the Wicked Witch was gone. I fought back more tears as I spoke, but the moment I was allowed to leave I did. And I cried for hours afterwards. But when I stopped, I stopped feeling. I stopped wanting to feel at all.

I didn't feel bad about wanting to be dead. I hardly ruled Oz, I had politicians to do that, so nothing would fall to shambles. I had already worked to give the animals their rights back so Elphaba's sacrifice wasn't in vain.

So it was decided.

An overdose. In the end I decided that it would be the less painful, but the easiest to insure that no one could save me. I didn't want to be saved.

I stole the pills from a pharmacy on the outskirts of the Emerald City. Well, I say 'stole', but I left money for the medicine and for repairs. I sat in my bedroom looking at the 50 small white capsules in my hand. Slowly, I had them. One at a time. Each time I reminded Elphaba that I would be with her soon.

When I was done I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I could feel myself losing consciousness, but I was awake enough to see a maid walk in and look at me lying on my bad with empty medicine packets all around me.

She screamed, and I smilied.

I remember the relief I felt when the world started to go black forever. I remember my last words.

"Elphaba . . . I've make the tears stop . . ."

_I hope you're happy Glinda._

"I am happy Elphie . . . "

And the world went back.


End file.
